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But What Do You Want?

Date: 7-Nov-2006/7:09+3:00

Tags: , ,

Characters: voice, me, black man

A group was playing some kind of game I didn't quite understand, so my attention wandered to looking at the people in the room. I felt like I recognized a black man on a couch as being someone I'd met at a previous social function, but then I noticed there were actually lots of black people sitting on one half of the room.
Looking around some more, I turned to watch another girl I'd met recently who was playing a piano. I'd thought she was attractive before, though now I could only see her from behind. It seemed like the music she was making was by hitting the strings inside the piano directly with her fingers, instead of pressing the keys. A voice behind me interrupted my observation.
voice: "She's pretty much everything, huh?"
me: (irritated) "What are you supposed to be? Some kind of voice in my head?"
voice: "Yes. And man, it's gonna look good on you."
I turned to see that it was one of the black men I'd noted earlier in the room.
me: "'It'?"
black man: "Exactly...'it'. But I gotta know what you want."
me: "I still don't understand what 'it' is."
black man: "Well your problem is, you don't have a father."
me: "I've spoken metaphorically about that problem. Like I have a father but not someone who took a real active interest in me, at least not the way you should if you have a cool kid."
black man: "Right, whatever. Look I have to know before I bury you...what you WANT. I mean, do you want to be a dog, or what?"
I had no idea what he was talking about. The room was fading in and out. I could somehow keep a pretty decent fix on him so that if he disappeared he would come back.
me: "No, I don't want to be a dog!! What do I want? I want partnership with a cute girl, someone trustworthy."
black man: "Well, what kind of partnership? A business partnership?"
me: "All kinds. Writing partnership, business partnership, romantic partnership. Creative partnership you might say."
black man: "Well everyone wants that. You've got five minutes at best, so use that to explain what you mean."
me: "Sorry, that's the best I can do, and I'm fading out here. All I ask is that if you know something I don't then stick with me, see me again if you can, keep trying."
I turned around and kind of fell backwards so he'd catch me.
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The accounts written here are as true as I can manage. While the words are my own, they are not independent creative works of fiction —in any intentional way. Thus I do not consider the material to be protected by anything, other than that you'd have to be crazy to want to try and use it for genuine purposes (much less disingenuous ones!) But who's to say?