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Voldemort Listening to Taco : 29-Oct-2015
Vivi the Mayor Misses Me : 27-Oct-2015
Only Bedrock : 8-Jul-2015
It's Light, it's Nothing and Everything : 18-Jun-2015
Chocolate Font and the 50-Headed Q-Tip : 8-Apr-2015
Win-Win Situation : 24-Feb-2015
Weird Al's Black Bowl + Snopes Bar : 1-Jan-2015
Dirty Minds : 2-Dec-2014
No Salt, No Salt in Pancakes : 15-Nov-2014
Man Bites Efta Dog : 13-Nov-2014
Frameworks, Frameworks, Frameworks! : 9-Nov-2014
Jesus and the Purple Dog : 7-Nov-2014
Taylor Swift's Red Dress : 4-Nov-2014
A Free Sandwich for Neo : 2-Nov-2014
Tom the Tomcat by Microsoft : 1-Nov-2014
Tuna, Salmon, Sushi, and Dumbarbie : 30-Oct-2014
Changing the D in Donnie Wahlberg : 28-Oct-2014
Multplayer Laser Robot Game : 16-Oct-2014
Incompatible Jaw Versions : 11-Oct-2014
Frank's : 24-Sep-2014
The Candycoat Company : 9-Sep-2014
Pinnochio's Andy : 24-Aug-2014
The Girl in the V of a Pipe : 24-Aug-2014
Dragons Sorting Severed Heads By Color : 18-Aug-2014
Show Me an Ocean : 5-Aug-2014
Alpha Female Key Manager : 17-Jul-2014
Fake World Prison in a Mountain By George Lucas : 22-Jun-2014
Chip on My Shoulder : 2-Jun-2014
Breaking the 011 Law : 29-May-2014
Go Save Your Chrome : 25-May-2014
The Musical Spreadsheet Hack : 2-May-2014
Twilight Without Shadows : 12-Apr-2014
LEGO Barbie UPS presentation : 12-Apr-2014
Do You Believe in Aliens : 12-Apr-2014
Born as a Dragon Day : 8-Apr-2014
Going Through my Dream Wallet : 22-Mar-2014
Disclaimers About the Spirit of Love : 9-Mar-2014
Raisin Bread Veggie Yogurt Sandwich : 9-Mar-2014
Reboldog Dot Com : 26-Feb-2014
Putting an End to Evolution : 2-Feb-2014
Two to Five Weeks Left : 13-Dec-2013
World Leader in Lying to SkyNet : 9-Dec-2013
Several Nut Shows in One Night : 8-Dec-2013
Human Inertia : 6-Dec-2013
Drainless Showers with Magnetic Water : 30-Oct-2013
Everyone but God is Pro-Prima : 14-Sep-2013
The Very Insulted Dog : 14-Sep-2013
Too Young to Leave the Crib : 14-Sep-2013
The Games of 3 Replaced the Music of 2 : 12-Jan-2013
Blue Warning : 17-Oct-2012
20th Century Physics : 17-Oct-2012
David Hasselhoff's Military Fidelity Branch : 1-Oct-2012
Missing the Old Me : 18-Sep-2012
Government Reality Simulation Investigations : 1-Aug-2012
Bruce Schneier's Facebook Page : 1-Aug-2012
A God so tall, that He's short... : 16-Jun-2012
LEGO Gaddafi Lets the Streets Run Mad : 28-May-2012
Pin a Memo With a Magnet : 27-May-2012
Jeeew-L and the Michael Bolton Shirt : 28-Apr-2012
Advice to Sell Disneyland : 20-Mar-2012
Going to See Myself : 10-Jan-2012
Brother is from Succor : 10-Jan-2012
The Monster Which Most Of Us Call God : 25-Nov-2011
You Have Family, You'll See : 22-Apr-2011
P is for Pencil : 12-Feb-2011
'Cause God Forbid Them : 22-Dec-2010
Pure Format Math : 13-Dec-2010
Low Budget Iron Man : 2-Jun-2010
Running Reflection Syncs Against Trinity : 24-Apr-2010
Screening Questions for The Terminator : 24-Apr-2010
Out of Reach : 11-Apr-2010
CADIE's Personal Ad : 30-Mar-2010
Functional Dimension Transformations: Practice Course : 12-Mar-2010
Cafe 911 : 2-Feb-2010
But it's a Real Dumpster : 25-Jan-2010
Romanov at 1st SE and West Nutella : 11-Jan-2010
The Grimeley Meal : 29-Dec-2009
Order Two Items at Karlksa : 29-Dec-2009
IT'S OVER ONE POINT TWO THOUSAND! : 29-Dec-2009
TATU Mountain Climbing : 28-Dec-2009
Home, Shelf, or Drug? : 16-Dec-2009
Camry Accident Investigation Facility : 16-Dec-2009
Paging Dr. Shrub : 16-Dec-2009
Vitomin 1-8-9-19 : 16-Dec-2009
Planet Mull : 7-Dec-2009
The Human Anatomy Game : 2-Dec-2009
Not Near the Order of the Nefarious Mass : 26-Oct-2009
The B2 Sticker Hotel : 19-Oct-2009
Jewel's Deep Trace : 13-Oct-2009
Fluffy Clouds Portending Doom : 10-Oct-2009
Three Stooges Wiggle Defense : 10-Oct-2009
Amnesia on Obama's Game Show : 4-Oct-2009
Installed Eyes : 4-Oct-2009
Holos Paper : 3-Oct-2009
April Ash3r's Newest Music Video : 27-Sep-2009
The Sprite War : 22-Sep-2009
Not as Brilliant when it's Dry : 22-Sep-2009
The Attractive Italian Man who Makes Connections : 16-Sep-2009
Natural Magnetic Drains : 11-Sep-2009
No Restaurant Exit : 4-Sep-2009
New York Times Cereal : 4-Sep-2009
Throw it On Your "Roof" : 4-Sep-2009
Taligent UI is Dead. : 2-Sep-2009
AE and the Snub : 25-Aug-2009
Marcus Marco Marcami : 22-Aug-2009
Eat Your Yamli, it's Rich in Minerals... : 15-Aug-2009
How to avoid Love, the advice of "Wise Elders", and probably Roxy Music : 13-Aug-2009
Lawyers, Dracula and the Thermostat : 12-Aug-2009
God's PA System : 12-Aug-2009
Extension Machines: Kills Zombies Dead...er : 20-Jul-2009
Feeling Magical : 14-Jul-2009
The Molten Lead of the LEGO Spirit : 13-Jul-2009
Weapons of Mass Instruction : 13-Jul-2009
Double-O Zero : 9-Jul-2009
Society's Ocean : 9-Jul-2009
COTE and HOOD : 3-Jul-2009
404 Incorporated : 30-Jun-2009
The Folding Chair Fencing Club : 28-Jun-2009
The Liquidator : 25-Jun-2009
Unpopular With Cats : 20-Jun-2009
Like lemon (or something) : 17-Jun-2009
The Dinosaur Proposition : 12-Jun-2009
Multiplicative Inverse of The Beast : 8-Jun-2009
Dreamflix recommends... : 18-May-2009
Mr. Tazer Surgery : 17-May-2009
Tilling the Cosmic Silence : 17-May-2009
The Firefox-Shaped Folded Dimension Inside Earth : 28-Apr-2009
Time Travel, The Internet, and Jesus : 28-Apr-2009
Full Moore Control : 28-Apr-2009
Snow Crashing : 20-Apr-2009
Reader Suggestion: "Ask For An Injection #1" : 15-Apr-2009
Best of Both Worlds : 1-Apr-2009
Off to See Steve Wizard : 31-Mar-2009
The New Zealand Internet Package : 30-Mar-2009
The Mormon Internet Package : 30-Mar-2009
Can't Afford The Mother Package : 8-Mar-2009
FACE Computing : 8-Mar-2009
On the Verge of Superman Pornography : 3-Mar-2009
Plastic Cowboy on a Swing : 3-Mar-2009
Voltron, George Jetson, and Tinkerbell : 26-Feb-2009
Odds Are 1 That I'm a Body Snatcher : 26-Feb-2009
Lookin' for a man who can handle me too the Copyfight : 23-Feb-2009
Flight Delay Precognition : 21-Feb-2009
Made in a factory at Maxis : 19-Feb-2009
Don't take ESP class : 16-Feb-2009
Most Of My Clients Try To Kill Me : 7-Feb-2009
The Hillary Clinton Show : 6-Feb-2009
The Haunted Sanctuary : 5-Feb-2009
Back To The Future / Face Off : 5-Feb-2009
Too Far, Too Fast : 3-Feb-2009
MetaLiving : 28-Jan-2009
Speaking to the Slug : 28-Jan-2009
Avoid GeneX at All Costs : 19-Jan-2009
I AIM, therefore IAM ! : 14-Jan-2009
Caught by the Valring : 13-Jan-2009
The Brain Experiment : 12-Jan-2009
The Unicorn Man : 5-Jan-2009
What Ingredients Make the Best Sandwich? : 5-Jan-2009
Some People Shouldn't Exist : 5-Jan-2009
Banned Retail App for iPhone : 5-Jan-2009
Sean Penn and The Fred Folder : 5-Jan-2009
Let God Come To You : 5-Jan-2009
Are You Under Sedation? : 3-Jan-2009
Successful Pinching Defense : 22-Dec-2008
Drunk at Brown with Susan Cornfeld : 22-Dec-2008
Subverse : 22-Dec-2008
You Should Have Your Memory Back : 5-Dec-2008
The Rickling Error : 1-Dec-2008
The Ambiguity is the Point of the Sketch : 1-Dec-2008
Upgrading Your Xcopy : 26-Nov-2008
Back To The Future is Destiny : 6-Nov-2008
Musical Compass : 5-Nov-2008
105 Years of Solitude : 3-Nov-2008
Becoming one With Mickey Mouse : 30-Oct-2008
Muses : 27-Oct-2008
A Guest Dream Within A Dream : 27-Oct-2008
Paying the Bill for your PDF : 26-Oct-2008
Scary Aliens : 26-Oct-2008
Tissue Immaterialism : 25-Oct-2008
The Body Guard : 20-Oct-2008
Welcome To An All New Dimension : 15-Oct-2008
You Just Won A Dead Pixel! : 15-Oct-2008
Kind of Tragic When You Think About It : 14-Oct-2008
Trigrams 'n' Tags : 14-Oct-2008
Dogfoot : 9-Oct-2008
The Sin of Music : 9-Oct-2008
Tricky Elevator CAPTCHAs : 7-Oct-2008
Edward Norton's Naked Follies : 26-Sep-2008
Human Hedgehogs : 25-Sep-2008
Me and My Murky Water : 22-Sep-2008
Where I Go To When I Am Called : 16-Sep-2008
A Ladies' Introduction To Corey Hart : 14-Sep-2008
Testing for Bots in the Bedroom : 12-Sep-2008
What? Haven't I heard of Fred Beans? : 3-Sep-2008
Candy Contest Redux : 3-Sep-2008
Twelve Lives to Live : 31-Aug-2008
Don't Worry Pluto, I'm Not a Planet Either : 31-Aug-2008
The Future: We Sell Hell (and Suffer Well) : 25-Aug-2008
Hax0red by the Crimson Circle : 23-Aug-2008
Hitler and the Homeless : 23-Aug-2008
Federal Investigators and Jamie Zawinksi : 20-Aug-2008
Official Induction into the Transdimensional Balloon Association : 18-Aug-2008
Nuts and Bolts and Checkers : 18-Aug-2008
The Skipper Walks Away : 12-Aug-2008
Address Block 105 : 8-Aug-2008
Gonna be a Long Night, Gonna Be All Right, on the Night Bridge : 7-Aug-2008
The Hercules Pill : 4-Aug-2008
The Mission and the Mentor : 2-Aug-2008
Welcome to Garfield Minus Garfield, City Limit : 28-Jul-2008
Granular Students in the Motherf'in Record Room : 23-Jul-2008
The Embassy Paperwork Scam : 20-Jul-2008
Four Pi Equation : 13-Jul-2008
Sufis Sweating Flatworms : 11-Jul-2008
Evolution: Embrace your chance : 8-Jul-2008
Lava Won't Cure Your Stink : 4-Jul-2008
Kinda Like Helen Keller : 15-Jun-2008
Role Playing on Mars : 15-Jun-2008
The Easiest to Remember Name : 15-Jun-2008
Blowdarts at the Pool : 11-Jun-2008
Dimitri and the Amazons : 11-Jun-2008
The Old Fraggle Likes to Hoggle : 9-Jun-2008
Kanye's Golden Collapsible Cane : 6-Jun-2008
Seeing With My Eyes Closed : 5-Jun-2008
Congratulations, Babies! : 3-Jun-2008
Superman's Motorcycle Car : 2-Jun-2008
Critiquing the Google Aesthetic : 30-May-2008
A Bad Case of Credit Card Tongue : 27-May-2008
The Infraluminal Link : 26-May-2008
Illegal to have an alternate history of the Lightbulb : 21-May-2008
Talking Heads (with Boring Ideas About Mentalism) : 12-May-2008
We Can Stalk Them for You Wholesale : 12-May-2008
The Truth, The Shadow, and The Solution : 23-Apr-2008
Rick-rolled in the Astral Plane : 23-Apr-2008
Physillusional : 17-Apr-2008
AppleTV's PhotoTransgenesis : 17-Apr-2008
$5.00 Philadelphia Lemonade : 12-Apr-2008
Stuck in a closet with Angela Lansbury : 22-Mar-2008
Fufinda and Goatlicke : 15-Mar-2008
Bill Bixby and The Soul Collector : 15-Mar-2008
Kevin Koostner : 15-Mar-2008
Kacheer Kacheen and the Five Mentalisms : 15-Mar-2008
Graphite Drinks from the Loaders : 15-Mar-2008
Turning My Sound Off on Clarabell Island : 15-Mar-2008
My bag is very high on the vacuum. : 2-Mar-2008
The Self-Multiplying Business Cards of Azir : 25-Feb-2008
Polarian M : 20-Feb-2008
Listen to X and everything will be fine... : 17-Feb-2008
Steam Viruses : 29-Jan-2008
Fenskohl, Feckel, and Moo : 7-Jan-2008
Signal Central (signalcentral.com) : 19-Dec-2007
The Honda/Toyota Matrix, take II : 18-Dec-2007
Personal Ads and Translated URLs : 12-Dec-2007
Hey, it's LoJack... : 7-Dec-2007
La Verne, Georgia : 25-Nov-2007
Paradise, Paradise, Paradise, Paradise : 31-Oct-2007
Eight-Year Olds on the Titanic : 29-Oct-2007
Eat Sushi, Answer Questions : 25-Oct-2007
Playable Alcohol in Third Reality : 25-Oct-2007
The Sender's Own Time : 24-Oct-2007
Forget the Science, Send the Aliens this Song I Wrote! : 21-Oct-2007
Photodiocenes : 21-Oct-2007
Bug Sign Language Alphabet : 12-Oct-2007
A Girl Named William : 12-Oct-2007
The Way of Life : 12-Oct-2007
Pizza Slice $1.49, Root Beer $11, Eating someone's belt... priceless. : 12-Oct-2007
Inichinev and the San Francisco Canal : 9-Oct-2007
One Hundred Morphins : 9-Oct-2007
Racing Into Porsche Headquarters : 9-Oct-2007
The New Root for Mozilla : 6-Oct-2007
Mirrors for Nothing : 5-Oct-2007
Penguin Radio : 5-Oct-2007
Biting Pegs in Cydonia : 5-Oct-2007
New Roommate : 2-Oct-2007
The Ionic Multiplier : 1-Oct-2007
Last Week They Were At Burning Man? : 1-Oct-2007
Simple Relativity : 26-Sep-2007
The Warrior Checks Google Calendar : 23-Sep-2007
NAEME NAM HOMME : 17-Sep-2007
Ghost Comments : 17-Sep-2007
Before The After : 16-Sep-2007
The Watchers and the Spies : 16-Sep-2007
A Channeling Faux-Paus in Bed : 15-Sep-2007
Delmont's White Cherries : 15-Sep-2007
Fundamentalist keyword "FICTION" : 13-Sep-2007
The Discovery Channel (without Atoms) : 12-Sep-2007
LS Nitrous : 27-Aug-2007
Got a Zsentry in the Basement : 21-Aug-2007
The Cat, not the Cat Study : 16-Aug-2007
What do you Mean "We", Green Man? : 13-Aug-2007
Apple Emulating PCjr : 10-Aug-2007
Channel Satellite Radio : 10-Aug-2007
Hot For Student : 7-Aug-2007
Refunding the Lego Brain : 7-Aug-2007
The CITI Terminal : 5-Aug-2007
Drinking Straw Blowing Competitions : 5-Aug-2007
RERR: Route Error : 2-Aug-2007
Pushing All the Buttons : 29-Jul-2007
Me as Subject of Dream : 25-Jul-2007
Skype With Map Routing Warnings : 13-Jul-2007
To Boldly Cut and Paste Where No One Has Cut and Pasted Before : 13-Jul-2007
Zero-Pole Magnets : 12-Jul-2007
Game? Compared to What? : 11-Jul-2007
Acephalous at the Silly Station : 6-Jul-2007
Addressivism : 6-Jul-2007
Reagan King : 1-Jul-2007
Devotion where you need it. : 29-Jun-2007
Christina D'Abrruzza : 25-Jun-2007
Millions of Virtual Shards : 22-Jun-2007
The Chlorine-Free United State of America : 22-Jun-2007
Flying Foam : 21-Jun-2007
Sainga and Silvia : 20-Jun-2007
Messages on the Pens : 17-Jun-2007
An Uncivil Trial : 17-Jun-2007
Oxy 40 Skateboard Matrix : 6-Jun-2007
Tony Romero's Dream Dialer : 23-May-2007
After all this waiting, it's finally happening to me... : 13-May-2007
SkypeUniverse : 13-May-2007
The Future of Urban Design 2018 : 25-Apr-2007
A-Ha Just Made 10 Million Dollars : 22-Apr-2007
Like a Tootsie Roll, Only More Imaginary : 15-Apr-2007
Potentia : 15-Apr-2007
Hypnagogic Supersensor : 9-Apr-2007
Pardon My Genie : 29-Mar-2007
She's an Amoeba : 29-Mar-2007
Dark Earth Colony : 17-Mar-2007
Tensors and Phantoms : 15-Mar-2007
Overwhelmingly Empathetic to Your Problem : 8-Mar-2007
(646) INT-ELLI : 18-Feb-2007
The Buried Brain Grid : 12-Feb-2007
Who the Hell is Richard Butler? : 11-Feb-2007
The White Mayor of Wal-Mart : 11-Feb-2007
Reliable Culture : 11-Feb-2007
The Trap of the Master Hacker : 11-Feb-2007
Digital Tide Engine : 11-Feb-2007
Going to Fidel : 7-Feb-2007
On the Dance Floor I Am Free : 7-Feb-2007
Aramanaia : 7-Feb-2007
The Creepy Horse Teacher : 4-Feb-2007
Pretending Everything Cost Two Weeks to Make : 4-Feb-2007
Cousin Anne Dudens : 4-Feb-2007
The Country Owned by Wine Glass Head : 27-Jan-2007
Fanta Has Been Cancelled : 27-Jan-2007
Greenway, Walgreens, and Ralphs : 27-Jan-2007
Don't Need The Drugs : 27-Jan-2007
Not a Thirst-Quenching Experience : 27-Jan-2007
Traffic Signals and Computational Slavery : 13-Jan-2007
The Key To My Mind : 2-Jan-2007
Something Better than Cell Phones : 18-Dec-2006
Roadside Bananas : 13-Dec-2006
Proximity Inertia : 3-Dec-2006
Acid Jones in Training : 23-Nov-2006
But What Do You Want? : 7-Nov-2006
Virtual Reality Again, In Amazing HD : 28-Oct-2006
Hands, Fingers, Toes : 27-Oct-2006
The 13-Inch Foot : 26-Oct-2006
Kids in the Hall : 18-Sep-2006
Hair Caught In The Wind : 17-Sep-2006
Genital +1 and Pillows (0,0) : 16-Sep-2006
Intersection #403 : 11-Sep-2006
Ocho the Trading Card : 11-Sep-2006
Planets rotating counter to the direction of gravity. : 9-Sep-2006
Speaking Spanish in College : 7-Sep-2006
Dancing with the Architect : 6-Sep-2006
Music Videos Featuring Color Cube Puzzles : 4-Sep-2006
Advertisement Filtering : 2-Sep-2006
The Pizza of my Dreams and The Guy who Wanted Pom-Poms : 30-Aug-2006
Matchmaker and the Lecherous Realityhandbook : 21-Aug-2006
I Dream of Bathroom : 21-Aug-2006
Ferns Accented With Stage Lights : 21-Aug-2006
Battling Slugs with Dennis Hopper : 21-Aug-2006
Over The Box : 20-Aug-2006
NASA Cosmic Intelligence Division : 11-Aug-2006
Hacking the Soda Factory : 10-Aug-2006
The Reconfiguring Lego Touchpad : 15-Jul-2006
Simple Math For Someone Who Can Understand It : 15-Jul-2006
The Indestructible Man : 6-Jul-2006
Ping Pong Ball Questions and Answers : 4-Jul-2006
Interfering With Their Project : 4-Jun-2006
Noogie? Nougat? Oh, You Like Girls... : 24-May-2006
The Talking Birds : 15-May-2006
BirdBird Isn't the Word : 14-May-2006
I Am Not Michael Jackson : 1-May-2006
Bathroom Layer Depraved : 17-Apr-2006
It Happened In Dallas : 7-Apr-2006
Engaging the Universe in Your Art : 16-Feb-2006
The Dance of Life : 19-Jan-2006
Throwing Keys Into a Volcano : 4-Jan-2006
Ashamed to Have Two Shoulders : 27-Dec-2005
Indiana Jones and the Lava Sharks : 16-Dec-2005
Don't Take a Date to the Concert : 5-Dec-2005
The MySpace Spell Checker : 28-Nov-2005
That's Terrible : 7-Nov-2005
Dungeons and Dragons and Character Modeling : 7-Nov-2005
Selena Derella Destroys the U.N. : 12-Aug-2005
The Low Stress Life of a Model : 16-Jul-2005
Lashundra and the Chewing Factory : 7-Jul-2005
The Old College Squeeze : 4-Feb-2005
Setting Myself Aflame : 28-Jan-2005
Queen Eggs and Stanford : 28-Jan-2005
Wanna Play a Video Game? : 3-Jan-2005
Working In a Lab : 3-Jan-2005
Cartoons, Porn, and Envelopes : 31-Dec-2004
Paper Monsters : 27-Dec-2004
Parallel Universe URL Format : 27-Dec-2004
Eat What Food the Characters Eat : 6-Dec-2004
Virtual Cinnamon Toast Crunch : 6-Dec-2004
Show Me The Money : 6-Dec-2004
Are You Asleep or Awake : 25-Nov-2004
Jadebob, Candy Contests, and reading LiveJournal on the Web : 24-Nov-2004
Transdimensional Stock Tips : 31-Oct-2004
Sether : 19-Apr-2004
copy write %C:/0304-1020 {Met^(00C6)ducation}

The accounts written here are as true as I can manage. While the words are my own, they are not independent creative works of fiction —in any intentional way. Thus I do not consider the material to be protected by anything, other than that you'd have to be crazy to want to try and use it for genuine purposes (much less disingenuous ones!) But who's to say?