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Granular Students in the Motherf'in Record Room

Date: 23-Jul-2008/13:40+3:00

Tags: , , , , ,

Characters: me, woman, librarian, guy

I was on some kind of hovering platform, looking down at people. There were fights breaking out among them, and as I went to the edge to look I came close to falling off. It tilted more and more, and we started heading for the ground. The people below were screaming.
me: (jokingly) "Hey, if we're going to crash... aim for Paris Hilton!"
Somehow that lightened everyone's mood and we sort of bounced and no one ended up being hurt. Getting off the platform and looking around I saw a large number of books. For some reason, I had a worry that they were spam books... generated by an automated process and not making any sense. But I picked a couple up and they seemed okay from the covers.
me: "Can anyone suggest to me an example of a great and groundbreaking book?"
woman: (picking up one close by) "This is very good."
The title of the book she had picked was something like Manifesting Intent in the Creative Process.
me: "What makes it good? What's the idea?"
woman: "I generally think the point is that you read it to find out."
me: "I don't have the time for that."
I flipped to the back cover and tried to skim the summary, it was an oddly shaped book... tall and narrow. While trying to make out the words, I was accosted by an elderly librarian woman.
librarian: (snarkily) "We generally prefer it if students do not use the record room if it is not for a specific purpose."
me: "Record room? Huh?"
librarian: "And we also restrict access to full students only, and rarely allow granular students in here."
me: "Student of what? Am I a student? What am I studying?"
librarian: (angry) "Are you a student AT ALL?"
me: "Look, don't get angry. Let's just say I have... uh. Well I guess it's a medical condition. Sometimes I know who I am and sometimes I don't, it's very confusing."
librarian: "Oh amnesia is it? Well, I'm not sympathetic, you want to see a real medical condition!?"
She sat down and started doing something odd unbuttoning her shirt and showing a gaping gross something or another going on in her abdominal area. I didn't see the details because I looked away.
me: "Okay, no, please. You misunderstand, I wasn't trying to get sympathy. This is research. I'm in an unknown place gathering information about how I got here, about what kind of place this is--what kind of records these are--and what kind of students you are talking about."
librarian: "Hmm. I wonder if you're onto something that Nash fellow was onto. Nice enough kid, always here in the record room on some kind of business."
I became a bit agitated about how long I'd have before I woke up. There was a guy who looked a bit like a zombie who walked in, but ignored me and started typing on a computer terminal. I suddenly noticed that there were a lot of younger people converging in on us who looked very intent and looked a bit like a cross between a military troop and a documentary film crew.
me: "Well, here comes the cavalry, maybe this is why I'm here."
I walked toward their approaching numbers, and sang a little song as a joke where I recited my name and how I was there in the "motherf'in" house. Somehow they all decided to repeat me, and stood at attention.
me: "Hey thanks. But you don't have to sing. I was just singing a little goofy song for the recording devices, try and defuse tension. Humor."
A black guy holding a small metal device that looked like some sort of all-stainless-steel swiss army knife stepped up to me, surveyed the scene, and shook his head and gestured it at me.
guy: "When you take this all back to the money thing...and I know you're going to do that one day...I'm coming after you."
me: "Hmmm... I guess that was the whole point of Star Wars? Anakin using talents for good and then later, when he's older and circumstances change, becomes Darth Vader?"
I woke up while finishing the thought.
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The accounts written here are as true as I can manage. While the words are my own, they are not independent creative works of fiction —in any intentional way. Thus I do not consider the material to be protected by anything, other than that you'd have to be crazy to want to try and use it for genuine purposes (much less disingenuous ones!) But who's to say?