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Impure At The Undone Bar : 3-Nov-2019
Seeing Alien on Friday : 3-Nov-2019
Beetron and Relief (Sponsored by AirBnB) : 13-Jun-2019
Hard to Compete With Dreams : 15-Feb-2019
Benjamin Meyer's Genius DNA : 20-Oct-2018
Haphazard Double Fabric Giraffe Attack : 13-Oct-2018
Ether Expanded to Q-Ether : 23-May-2018
Drinking Near the DISCO Center : 11-Apr-2018
Rearranging Sequences : 1-Apr-2018
And You Did It 'Til the Ennnnnnnd! : 26-Feb-2018
Interdimensional Travel Is Boring : 1-Oct-2017
Human-Centric Philological Conceptions : 22-Sep-2017
Manta Research and Famous Amy's : 24-Jul-2017
The Phylos Steam Van Of Love : 1-May-2017
Things I Promise Never To Invent : 17-Feb-2017
Thinking Africamattically : 24-Jan-2017
The Balance Of The Water : 2-Nov-2016
Go Directly To Space : 22-May-2016
Annex 25 : 10-May-2016
Like Hacking Mr. Ed : 14-Nov-2015
Only One in a Day : 28-Oct-2015
Unbridled Lust for Brutulus Prume : 28-Oct-2015
It's Light, it's Nothing and Everything : 18-Jun-2015
Win-Win Situation : 24-Feb-2015
The Injection of Foo : 2-Dec-2014
Taylor Swift's Red Dress : 4-Nov-2014
Tom the Tomcat by Microsoft : 1-Nov-2014
The Ditz at Grok Net : 10-Oct-2014
Frank's : 24-Sep-2014
Ben: The Cat Who Couldn't Dance : 7-Sep-2014
Pinnochio's Andy : 24-Aug-2014
It isn't You, it isn't Me, it isn't Fee. : 13-Aug-2014
Alpha Female Key Manager : 17-Jul-2014
My Middle Name... is 'Grandma' : 17-Jul-2014
The Musical Spreadsheet Hack : 2-May-2014
Deeper, deeper, deeper... : 17-Apr-2014
Twilight Without Shadows : 12-Apr-2014
Raisin Bread Veggie Yogurt Sandwich : 9-Mar-2014
Putting an End to Evolution : 2-Feb-2014
Trello in Borneo : 2-Feb-2014
Jesus Won't Move the City : 29-Dec-2013
Hypnotic Polytransformational Holography : 27-Dec-2013
Adam and Eve were Gresque : 8-Dec-2013
A Protective Ring for the Food Lion channel : 14-Sep-2013
Too Young to Leave the Crib : 14-Sep-2013
The X, Y, Z, and Nudity Axes : 14-Sep-2013
He's Not That Kind : 4-Jul-2013
The Games of 3 Replaced the Music of 2 : 12-Jan-2013
Spicy Ketchup and Pus : 12-Jan-2013
The Virus is on the Treasure Ship : 17-Oct-2012
David Hasselhoff's Military Fidelity Branch : 1-Oct-2012
Government Reality Simulation Investigations : 1-Aug-2012
Aynkh's Chat Room : 3-Jun-2012
LEGO Gaddafi Lets the Streets Run Mad : 28-May-2012
Pin a Memo With a Magnet : 27-May-2012
The Fractal Cube Press Conference : 20-Mar-2012
Brother is from Succor : 10-Jan-2012
The Inventor of Non Serviam : 29-Jun-2011
'Cause God Forbid Them : 22-Dec-2010
Pure Format Math : 13-Dec-2010
The Aging Powers : 13-Dec-2010
Now You Really *ARE* Going Crazy : 27-Oct-2010
Pocky vs Mac : 30-Aug-2010
Low Budget Iron Man : 2-Jun-2010
Screening Questions for The Terminator : 24-Apr-2010
My Personal Hypta : 2-Apr-2010
Cafe 911 : 2-Feb-2010
In Dream Russia, TV Watches You : 22-Oct-2009
Three Stooges Wiggle Defense : 10-Oct-2009
Axis of Evil : 5-Sep-2009
No Restaurant Exit : 4-Sep-2009
Marcus Marco Marcami : 22-Aug-2009
Eat Your Yamli, it's Rich in Minerals... : 15-Aug-2009
Lawyers, Dracula and the Thermostat : 12-Aug-2009
COTE and HOOD : 3-Jul-2009
404 Incorporated : 30-Jun-2009
Field Your Tone : 29-Jun-2009
The Folding Chair Fencing Club : 28-Jun-2009
The Purple Rhino Trump Card : 22-Jun-2009
Like lemon (or something) : 17-Jun-2009
Mr. Tazer Surgery : 17-May-2009
Time Travel, The Internet, and Jesus : 28-Apr-2009
God's IT department : 20-Apr-2009
Holes in the Python Code : 20-Apr-2009
Vines Growing on a Gazebo : 1-Apr-2009
Off to See Steve Wizard : 31-Mar-2009
Lunar Stencils : 30-Mar-2009
Plastic Cowboy on a Swing : 3-Mar-2009
Judgment in This Particular Scrimmage : 21-Feb-2009
What Ingredients Make the Best Sandwich? : 5-Jan-2009
Successful Pinching Defense : 22-Dec-2008
You Should Have Your Memory Back : 5-Dec-2008
The Ambiguity is the Point of the Sketch : 1-Dec-2008
It's Not An Elevator Bug, It's An Elevator Feature : 26-Oct-2008
The Sun Burning Out Earlier Than Expected : 15-Oct-2008
Human Hedgehogs : 25-Sep-2008
Where I Go To When I Am Called : 16-Sep-2008
Danielle The Medium : 3-Sep-2008
Twelve Lives to Live : 31-Aug-2008
Hax0red by the Crimson Circle : 23-Aug-2008
Nuts and Bolts and Checkers : 18-Aug-2008
Granular Students in the Motherf'in Record Room : 23-Jul-2008
Bambos and Bambots : 8-Jul-2008
Role Playing on Mars : 15-Jun-2008
The Easiest to Remember Name : 15-Jun-2008
Blowdarts at the Pool : 11-Jun-2008
Congratulations, Babies! : 3-Jun-2008
300 (ooo) and Spinach : 31-May-2008
A Bad Case of Credit Card Tongue : 27-May-2008
We Can Stalk Them for You Wholesale : 12-May-2008
Physillusional : 17-Apr-2008
Kevin Koostner : 15-Mar-2008
The Self-Multiplying Business Cards of Azir : 25-Feb-2008
The Motions of Writing : 29-Jan-2008
View Masters and Dr. Pepper : 14-Jan-2008
Wordplay Inc. : 18-Dec-2007
The Facet Logic of Linear Time : 24-Nov-2007
Servo Replacement : 31-Oct-2007
Eight-Year Olds on the Titanic : 29-Oct-2007
Throwing People Over Cliffs : 12-Oct-2007
The Quantum Leap of Stealing Traffic Cones : 12-Sep-2007
Battles in an Outdoor Mall : 28-Aug-2007
Zero-Pole Magnets : 12-Jul-2007
Game? Compared to What? : 11-Jul-2007
Devotion where you need it. : 29-Jun-2007
There are no 'machines'. There are only men. : 6-Jun-2007
The Bad Preacher's Tale : 6-May-2007
The Witch Box Head Speaker : 24-Apr-2007
Not a Thirst-Quenching Experience : 27-Jan-2007
Smelly Grocery Stores in Another Dimension : 16-Jan-2007
The Key To My Mind : 2-Jan-2007
There Is No Chinese Truth : 16-Sep-2006
Dancing with the Architect : 6-Sep-2006
My Claymation Audiopad Lesson : 21-Aug-2006
Bathroom Layer Depraved : 17-Apr-2006
It Happened In Dallas : 7-Apr-2006
Express Yourself With Rubber Bands and Pencils : 3-Dec-2005
Demonic Parking Permits : 17-Jul-2005
Setting Myself Aflame : 28-Jan-2005
Queen Eggs and Stanford : 28-Jan-2005
Cartoons, Porn, and Envelopes : 31-Dec-2004
Don't Worry, It's Only a Ton : 6-Dec-2004
copy write %C:/0304-1020 {Met^(00C6)ducation}

The accounts written here are as true as I can manage. While the words are my own, they are not independent creative works of fiction —in any intentional way. Thus I do not consider the material to be protected by anything, other than that you'd have to be crazy to want to try and use it for genuine purposes (much less disingenuous ones!) But who's to say?