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Beetron and Relief (Sponsored by AirBnB)

Date: 13-Jun-2019/9:56+3:00

Tags: , , , ,

Characters: woman, me, tv viewer, couch guy, little girl

I was out on a populous dark street, speaking with a woman who was telling me a joke.
woman: "What do blowfish, a six pack of beer, and gay people have in common?"
me: "I...don't know?"
woman: (grinning) "They all want to stick a lot of things in you."
There seemed to be a lot of people around, but the environment was fairly cluttered and trashy; as if we were in a street that had become a homeless encampment. I was approached by a woman in something resembling a nurse's outfit, carrying something with a sign on it that said "Relief: Sponsored by AirBnB".
I was becoming lucid and was curious what she was handing out--though I was instantly suspicious it was a scam. I put out my hand and was expecting her to put some pills in it, but wasn't prepared to see that they were little rigid-seeming plastic V-shaped strips. They seemed to stand up on my palm on their own.
The Vs unfolded and were warm and stuck to me.  They began to burn, creating a rather strong pain--though I managed to avoid waking. I was unable to peel them off--the adhesion was strong, as if they'd superglued to my skin.
With the nurse having walked away, the woman who had joked before looked at my hand solemnly.
woman: "I get the trick.  They are a kind of strong automatic medical bandage--usually legitimate. But these ones have been modified to create wounds.  The perpetrators make money on the backside at their clinics--they charge for the treatments of the wounds the bandages are now covering..."
me: (rolling eyes) "...and then the government pays it; the people here are too drugged up to ever know what happened. Assumption is that it was just addicts who hurt themselves. Godawful. I hope that when those responsible are killed, it is performed...slowly."
Wanting to see what else I could glean from the dystopian environment, I wandered off from the street into a building which had a propped open door. I went into a community room where people were watching a television.
Ignoring the people watching it, I just went to muck with the TV and see what kind it was. All the controls I could see were on the front. One was a sliding toggle, which had a setting for closed-captioning. I ticked it on. Yellow writing began to run on the bottom of the screen.
tv viewer: "Whoa. How did you do that? Get those words to show up?"
me: "It's called "Closed-Captioning". It's for deaf people usually. But for my current situation, really anything helps. Maybe it will help you too."
I watched a bit of the end of a show I couldn't quite follow--and then the opening of a cartoon called "Beetron". The animation was fairly lo-fi, and the hero of "Beetron" looked rather similar to the low-budget-costumed "bee guy" character from the Simpsons (who plays a slapstick role on a Mexican sitcom). The theme song gave me the impression that it was a comedy--that Beetron was similarly goofy, and bad at being a superhero.
After taking in a little bit of Beetron, I turned my attention to the people on the couch who were watching me.
me: "Hello there, humans! Or, are you? I'm not. Well...what I mean to say is, that I have a human body elsewhere...I don't know what I am right now or how I'm talking to you.  But I presume it's some other body. Anyone want to tell me anything?"
A man on a couch pointed at some posters on the wall for what looked like movies and TV shows.
couch guy: "We still have carpool karaoke.  But it's not any good anymore.  They shouldn't even be bothering to make it."
me: "So...who am I, to you?"
couch guy: "You are a member of a party of people who are usually found in Prague. But your party is not as powerful as it used to be."
me: "I'm not part of any political party. I'm more a member of the...Jesus party."
Everyone in the room freaked out, and a small young girl jumped up and clung to me.
little girl: (horrified) "Didn't you know? You can't say Jesus!"
A noise happened and some kind of alarm or alert went off.  There was a buzzing.  I tried to push the girl off of me.
me: (resignedly) "Oh, this always happens.  Look, don't worry about me, just save yourself.  I'll be fine."
Though I had walked in on a ground level, I either had gone up stairs at some point or the building was split level. Because I could look down a window and see where a small machine that looked like an odd remote control car was running along.
I had told the girl to let go of me, but she wouldn't. She tugged me to hide with her in a dark corner. The little car eventually came our way but it passed us, seemingly not seeing us.  We waited and I assumed it would find me (as such things usually do). But it ran by and kept going the other direction.
Though I was surprised to get out of that unscathed, I then noticed it had dropped a small device near us as it passed. I wondered if it was a bomb. But eventually it started rolling toward us and ran directly into my foot.
I woke up.
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The accounts written here are as true as I can manage. While the words are my own, they are not independent creative works of fiction —in any intentional way. Thus I do not consider the material to be protected by anything, other than that you'd have to be crazy to want to try and use it for genuine purposes (much less disingenuous ones!) But who's to say?