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Mr. Tazer Surgery

Date: 17-May-2009/1:59+3:00

Tags: , ,

Characters: me, head one, voice1, voice2, woman, her, hippo

I was speaking to what appeared to be two small heads stuck on the ends of fishhooks that were pierced through my pinky.
me: "Did you know there's life on other planets?"
head one: "There are a lot of galaxies out there in the sky, it would seem likely."
me: "But not just likely, it's actually real. I've been speaking with someone lately."
head one: "Is he interested in mental telecommunication?"
me: "I'd say nearly pathologically so."
voice1: "Isn't that you?"
me: "Partially, but then there's who's speaking to you now."
voice2: "Are you his girlfriend?"
me: "No, I am him, but something else too."
The heads seemed to dissolve, and I found myself in a room with a woman I recognized.
woman: "Hey Mr. Tazer Surgery."
me: "What do you mean by that?"
woman: "I'm just reminding you that the Taser Conference is coming up, and it's an important technology that cannot be falling into the wrong hands."
Note The Taser corporation, which makes stun guns, does seem to have conventions. The next one is in July. Obviously I am not going.
me: (annoyed) "Why am I hearing this from you instead of them? If I'm as good as they say I am, then can't people start being a bit more direct in asking for my help."
her: "Well you know as well as anyone what the problem is. Not enough diamonds."
me: "There are a lot more problems than that."
her: "Naturally."
My perspective switched to where I was speaking to some unusual looking people who were wearing breathing helmets. They went from looking nearly human with pig-like noses to being almost like purple hippos wearing the breathing helmet. It was as if they were in an atmosphere they could not breathe.
hippo: "...so you're a shockingly good match, though about $200,000 or so outside of what we were looking to pay. Tough market right now, all focused on this-or-that bleeding edge animation you know."
me: "Well I'm flexible about the pay."
hippo: "Let me compose the letter and get this started right now."
He raised his hands in the air and began a typing motion but there was no visible keyboard he was typing on, kind of like the virtual avatar "I'm typing" animation in Second Life.
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copy write %C:/0304-1020 {Met^(00C6)ducation}

The accounts written here are as true as I can manage. While the words are my own, they are not independent creative works of fiction —in any intentional way. Thus I do not consider the material to be protected by anything, other than that you'd have to be crazy to want to try and use it for genuine purposes (much less disingenuous ones!) But who's to say?