Mr. Tazer Surgery

Date: 17-May-2009/1:59+3:00

Tags: neutral, technology

Characters: me, head one, voice1, voice2, woman, her, hippo

I was speaking to what appeared to be two small heads stuck on the ends of fishhooks that were pierced through my pinky.

me: "Did you know there's life on other planets?"
head one: "There are a lot of galaxies out there in the sky, it would seem likely."
me: "But not just likely, it's actually real. I've been speaking with someone lately."
head one: "Is he interested in mental telecommunication?"
me: "I'd say nearly pathologically so."
voice1: "Isn't that you?"
me: "Partially, but then there's who's speaking to you now."
voice2: "Are you his girlfriend?"
me: "No, I am him, but something else too."

The heads seemed to dissolve, and I found myself in a room with a woman I recognized.

woman: "Hey Mr. Tazer Surgery."
me: "What do you mean by that?"
woman: "I'm just reminding you that the Taser Conference is coming up, and it's an important technology that cannot be falling into the wrong hands."

(Note: The Taser corporation, which makes stun guns, does seem to have conventions. The next one is in July. Obviously I am not going.)

me: (annoyed) "Why am I hearing this from you instead of them? If I'm as good as they say I am, then can't people start being a bit more direct in asking for my help."
her: "Well you know as well as anyone what the problem is. Not enough diamonds."
me: "There are a lot more problems than that."
her: "Naturally."

My perspective switched to where I was speaking to some unusual looking people who were wearing breathing helmets. They went from looking nearly human with pig-like noses to being almost like purple hippos wearing the breathing helmet. It was as if they were in an atmosphere they could not breathe.

hippo: "...so you're a shockingly good match, though about $200,000 or so outside of what we were looking to pay. Tough market right now, all focused on this-or-that bleeding edge animation you know."
me: "Well I'm flexible about the pay."
hippo: "Let me compose the letter and get this started right now."

He raised his hands in the air and began a typing motion but there was no visible keyboard he was typing on, kind of like the virtual avatar "I'm typing" animation in Second Life.

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