I was walking into a restaurant with a date, and we were waiting for a seat. My date called after the greeter...
my date: "Hey, lady! What time did you say we'd get a seat?"
This was embarrassing for me, and even more so when she drunkenly leaned her arm over the greeter as they talked.
me: "Since when do we call people 'lady' and put our arms around people without their permission?"
greeter: (laughing and putting her arm on me) "Oh, I'll let it go this time."
This brought my attention to notice all the people milling about. One was a black woman who stepped forward with a large glass jar of what looked like very small round dark spheres. She pulled one out and offered it to me.
me: "Thanks, but...what is it?"
woman: "These are berries."
By the time she had handed it to me, it had inflated to something the size of my hand. It seemed like a fleshy fruit with raisins in it instead of seeds. Not sure if this was poison or not I looked at it warily, but decided I didn't really care since I'd wake up eventually anyway. It didn't taste particularly good, so as I took bites I mentally tried to make it taste more like plums that I remember eating from childhood.
Walking out onto a balcony, I saw a pool below. The world began to morph into cartoon art, and I decided to take a high dive off the balcony into the pool. I splashed into the cool water, and tried to surface, but could not. Holding back the panic, I just willed myself out of the water.
me: (sing-song voice) "Oh...it's the awesome power of a god...how did this happen...how does it work...I don't know, and I don't know what's going to happen next..."
Looking at a row of houses in the distance, I made a flattening gesture with my hands. There were screams as they all were demolished. The houses sprang back up moments later, like a pop-up book. A man and a woman standing next to me looked at the houses, and then looked at me.
woman: "It's surprising they haven't started vercating us yet."
me: "Vercating? What is vercating?"
woman: "No, I said grenading. Usually they'd be trying to blow us to bits by now."
me: "Well why don't we blow THEM to bits."
woman: (smiling) "Don't you worry, that's coming along fine. We've gotten three of their top people. And if they execute on the information we planted about China...they're as good as gone."
man: "There's a guy at the door. Oh, this is going to be interesting."
We began walking along the pool toward a door.
me: "With all this talk about 'us' and 'them' it seems you think we're in a group together. What would you call this group?"
woman: (a little surprised) "You don't know? Well...what have you been told?"
me: "I've heard some things, but I don't want to bias your answer. I'd rather hear what you'd say."
The woman's attention was drawn toward the door. She began a fiery-sounding sermon that I couldn't quite understand, about "this...the eleventh month of the year of the moon" (or something). I was distracted because I was being attacked by a skinny guy with glasses, who had a syringe.
The man I had been walking with leaped to my defense and tried to stop him before I was hit...but it didn't do much good. I could pull the syringe out. But every time I did, the guy with glasses kept throwing them at me, like they were blowdarts. Though they were painful, I was able to stand and continue talking.
me: "Wow, these needles again. You guys sure rely heavily on whatever chemical you're injecting me with. And as evidenced by the fact that I keep showing up, they're not really working are they? In fact, I think I'm building up quite the tolerance. I'll go back to the lab and study myself in more detail to see if I can't make some kind of immunization shot."
In the time between pulling the darts out of my body, I gestured with my finger to try and crush his head. He did seem to duck and express some kind of pain response, but the attacks kept coming. He didn't speak at all, and I decided a little more taunting would be more effective until I woke up.
me: "Now that I get a close look, you sure are ugly. I bet that's why you're doing this, you're jealous! Well, we shall see, won't we?"
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