Feed Icon RSS 1.0 XML Feed available

The Folding Chair Fencing Club

Date: 28-Jun-2009/11:18+3:00

Tags: , , , , ,

Characters: me, man in suit, chair guy, woman

I was in the loft apartment where I used to live. Though I didn't have much in the loft when I lived there, it had been redecorated with a modern kitchen and television. On a wall where I'd had a painting I had made, there was a large 3x3 grid of colors dominated by green and white (which I understood as representing one face of a Rubik's cube). The TV was showing a music video intercut with pictures of a monkey holding a videocamera.
My dog from childhood was there, and he followed me to the elevator in the hallway. I pushed the button to go to the roof, and also tried the close door button--butnothing happened. Noticing there was a keyhole for a circular key, I fished in my pocket and found a key that fit. When I used it, the door closed and took me to the roof.
me: (to self) "I guess now is as good a time as any to do some matrix training...and just jump!"
I jumped off the roof and did a successful landing. Looking back, I noticed my dog running back and forth on the roof...so I gestured to him to jump too. I caught him like someone had thrown me a football, and set him down on the ground.
Two extremely large mean dogs that looked like huge rottweilers were on the ground, who began to run at me to attack. When the first came at me, I grabbed it's face and pet it until it turned nice. I did the same with the second.
A couple of people came up to me. One man in a suit looked like Agent Smith from the Matrix, and another older guy who was holding several folding chairs.
man in suit: (to me) "Nice job, Kane. You're getting good, but you have to learn more combat."
Note I heard the name as in David Carradine's character in Kung Fu, whose name I thought was spelled as "Kane"...but turns out that character's name was spelled "Caine". Upon waking and looking at it, there are many such characters--including the Biblical Cane, considered the progenitor of evil.
chair guy: (pointing at the man in the suit) "I'm not going to be as easy on you as he was!"
The man handed me one of the folding chairs, and kept the other two for himself. One he poised to use as a weapon, and the other one to use as a shield. I tried to whack him with the chair he had given me, but it collapsed awkwardly.
chair guy: "You have to fold it like this, so it makes a point."
me: (frustrated) "That doesn't work when I try it. Maybe if you explained what's going on instead of showing me something to blindly mimic. I find that--for instance--in learning dance, it's better to explain the rules and invariants rather than try and memorize specific steps."
The man seemed to change into an Asian woman, and began a sentence. She was grasping for words.
woman: "But... but... but..."
Noticing she was attractive, I looked at her body. She took notice of my gaze.
woman: "Not THAT kind of butt. I mean to say..."
me: "I'm going to wake up any moment now. This is a poor way of learning anything, in a general sense, anyway. Can you help?"
woman: "This is how it always is."
me: "With other people? Well maybe if there was more data it wouldn't have to be that way. You might not know everything, but you clearly know something--share your data. What if I were to be hit by a bus tomorrow? Would this stabilize?"
They seemed to get angry at my questioning.
me: (annnoyed) "I don't want to fight people with folding chairs for no reason for two minutes each night for a year. Maybe mastering the Matrix is about not wasting my time with people who won't answer my questions."
woman: (looking at me angrily) "Rupture!"
They attacked, and started pinching me viciously. I held out pretty reasonably for a while considering the level of discomfort. I decided to respond by eating my attackers...but had a hard time deciding what flavor they should be in order to make the experience pleasant.
Currently I am experimenting with using Disqus for comments, however it is configured that you don't have to log in or tie it to an account. Simply check the "I'd rather post as a guest" button after clicking in the spot to type in a name.
comments powered by Disqus
copy write %C:/0304-1020 {Met^(00C6)ducation}

The accounts written here are as true as I can manage. While the words are my own, they are not independent creative works of fiction —in any intentional way. Thus I do not consider the material to be protected by anything, other than that you'd have to be crazy to want to try and use it for genuine purposes (much less disingenuous ones!) But who's to say?