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Simple Relativity

Date: 26-Sep-2007/10:39+3:00

Tags: , , , , ,

Characters: him, me, friend, bald man, figurine, second man

I was using a piece of software and it was generating some kind of spam report automatically based on the data in it. A man was complaining at me.
him: "Importing your project is generating tons of bind warnings. What is all this garbage about vitamins?"
me: "This isn't spam. It's a legitimate project for a vitamin company."
We had a bit of a debate I don't remember very well, but at one point we came to an agreement of some sort of how to work around it.
him: "You should really bring up your problem at the next meeting. Your most important audience is going to be the sales representative, because he actually goes out and meets with groups and can evangelize. It will help the most people if you convince him."
Another person in the room was installing DirectX 8.1 onto a computer. A friend of mine who is dead was there answering questions, which cued me into some lucid questioning of my own.
me: "What is it like now that you do not have an earthly existence?"
friend: "I have puppies now, it's good."
me: "How can you have a physical object here in the dream-state? Doesn't it change uncontrollably?"
friend: "Well, even though I can't see the separation clearly, I know there are two puppies."
I lost him as he went around a corner, but found someone else to continue interviewing--a bald man in a Hawaiian shirt.
me: "How can a physical object exist here? Why do things keep changing in the environment? Everything is unstable."
bald man: "It's simple relativity. A very light object can hit you but if it's going extremely fast it will cream you. Everything is being affected."
I picked up a glass plate off a nearby table. As I held it in my hand to inspect it, the plate started getting smaller and smaller.
me: "Okay, this is a perfect example. I'm holding it and looking at it, and it just keeps getting smaller. Why?"
him: "That's because of a drying effect. You holding it is drying it, and it shrinks and becomes brittle."
me: (shaking his hand) "Well, thank you for trying to give me a straight answer that makes some sense. I am trying to get a handle on things. I'm from Earth, and am asleep at this very moment, and this is very disorienting. So I'd like to find the science behind it."
A small figurine in a nearby china closet became angered.
figurine: "Oh, that's annoying."
me: "You're not saying I'm annoying, but rather it must be annoying to me to be put in such a state of flux?"
But the answer must have been that I was annoying, because a large man with a beard began pinching me in an attack and pushing me.
me: "Whoa! Hold up! Stop it! Why are you doing this?"
I continued to demand a response, as he persisted in his attack. Another man walking beside him looked on, but remained silent. I addressed the second man.
me: "Why is he doing this? I deserve an answer!"
second man: "We're not allowed to talk."
me: "You mean like a law? Says who!!?!"
second man: "It's an agreement we made with our god. We have to give them back to Earth."
me: "Who is your god?!!"
There was a jumbled response, they both kind of tried to reply at the same time--and it seemed they thought the question was funny. I can't really characterize the answer since it was a jumble and it woke me up trying to get it, but it was something like "Pluto" or "Krypton"...something weird and planet-like.
I held out remarkably long against this attack, and probably could have done so longer if I wasn't so busy begging for information.
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The accounts written here are as true as I can manage. While the words are my own, they are not independent creative works of fiction —in any intentional way. Thus I do not consider the material to be protected by anything, other than that you'd have to be crazy to want to try and use it for genuine purposes (much less disingenuous ones!) But who's to say?