I was hanging out with--of all people, Kids in the Hall
members Dave Foley and Kevin MacDonald. They were doing some kind of comedy sketch about a guy caught in a Catch-22.
The plot of the sketch was that a man had moved out of his fancy apartment because he had been fired from a job and could no longer afford it. Then he was discriminated against in an interview at Disney because he lived in a lousy neighborhood. When he told this story to a friend, that friend realized that his employment possibilities had also been limited by his address.
me: "This skit isn't funny at all. Which one of you came up with this?"
I picked up a random piece of paper off the desk as if it were a script.
me: (mockingly) "Hmmm, oh, that's a good question. Which one of us wrote this...which one... oh, wait, it wasn't any of us. I guess, uh, it just showed up!"
Dave and Kevin stopped their rehearsal. They stopped and were holding what appeared to be club flyers held together with chewing gum, which was the real script.
kevin macdonald: "This is a good story."
dave foley: "How long did you time it out as?"
kevin macdonald: "It's 20 minutes long."
I swiped the script.
me: "You'd better hope no one sees you're writing your scripts on club flyers, or they'll think you're preparing to be downsized and cancel your show."
dave foley: "We've got plenty of bookings. In fact, we just performed last night at the Henry Fonda Theater."
me: "The Harry Fonda Theater?"
kevin macdonald: "No, the HENRY Fonda Theater. Guy is the contact point."
I couldn't tell if they were telling me this because I should talk to "Guy", or if they were talking to each other.
me: "Last night, let's see, um...today is Saturday so that would have been Friday. The, uh, 20 somethingth."
Interestingly, upon awakening, I was wrong. It was Sunday night I was sleeping, not Saturday. Saturday, what would have been the real "yesterday", at the Henry Fonda Theater, was neither music...nor kids in the hall...but a Northern Israel Fundraiser Party. It sort of stands out on the calendar as a religious event, since every other day is music.
me: "What I'm doing is difficult. You should be impressed, though the accuracy of what I'm saying should be questioned."
I looked Dave straight in the eye.
me: (exaggeratedly) "I'm. Asleep. Y'know."
Dave Foley's face was now very strange, with black eyes and a hat, and deformed a bit like Freddy Krueger, though less scary. My staring proceeded.
dave foley: (equally exaggerated) "Yes. We. Know. In. Fact. We. Are. Not. Supposed. To. Talk. To. You."
me: "Why not?"
dave foley: "Firstly, because of the fact that you all are drugged and basically unaware of the forces of evil--it's considered a bad idea. Secondly, there are certain biases which exist in the community."
He lowered his voice and whispered.
dave foley: "...and there actually are some lawsuits going on right now."
me: "That's all fine and well, but I'm gonna wake up here and.."
Then I woke up.
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