I was in some situation where my behavior was being evaluated somehow, and I had been giving some answers to a man in blue. He seemed to consider what I was saying to be wise, and nodded approval. This called me into lucidity, as I was reminded of previous situations in my life where I'd done the "crazy" things.
me: "Was there anyone watching before, with what I went through? Was what I did considered brave, or crazy, or what?"
The man shrugged and directed me to follow him down a stairway.
man in blue: "It's the general opinion of most that--for a god--you sure do seem to find bizarre ways to spend your time."
me: "Gods? Well, what...what are you? Things are fuzzy for me. Are you made out of proteins, or virtual, or...like, you're pure thought and I'm projecting the idea that you look human at all?"
man in blue: (sighing) "Me? Oh, well I'm probably mostly made out of the devil, when you come down to it."
We walked into a room where a number of people were sitting at a table, I believe they were eating.
man at table: "God's been gone a long time. Fixing the zone crisis must be turning out to be a bigger project than he thought."
me: "You say God's not here. You mean, there's a way of telling when he is? Does he sit at this table?"
They sort of glared at me, like I'd asked a dumb question.
me: "I don't think it's a dumb question. But does God manifest? What does he look like?"
Perhaps related to my question or not, an old fat man who looked like Orson Welles stepped in the door from which we'd entered. He looked at us a moment...and then stepped out. A tall man who looked like another famous actor I can't place appeared, seemingly out from behind some kind of invisible wall. He walked right up to me.
actor: "Name a height, weight, gender, age..."
I could suddenly perceive a "scene" acted out, where the people at the table were looking annoyed as a manic man was waving his arms and yelling nonsense at them. Then the scene flipped back to me by the table with the original actor.
me: "Okay so God could do anything, I was asking more if there was any particular pattern to what he did do. Actually I take that back, he couldn't really do anything. Like...he couldn't be so tall he was short. Well, you know what I mean...paradoxes."
The actor smirked and then began to grow taller, and somehow reached in front of my face with some kind of complex glasses. I could still see the version of him without the glasses, but then inside the effects were 3-D. It was like as he got taller in the room he would become shorter in the rendered view.
The effect was rather complicated, but I guess I'd say the impact was somewhat analogous to the optical illusion of an Ames Room
me: "Okay, but that's cheating. You changed the assumptions intrinsic in the question. If you're smart enough and have enough technology you can break paradoxes by expanding the perceptual framework. Also...hey, this is making me woozy."
My stomach was getting a bit sick from the wild twists and rotations I was seeing in the glasses. The people at the table seemed to find it amusing as I crossed over from being a little panicked into embracing it like it was a roller-coaster. They took the glasses off.
me: "Wooooo! Okay, that does get kind of fun. But...so if God can just whip out tricks to make boulders so heavy he can't lift them...and pop in and out looking like anyone he wants...was it always like that? Did God go through any particular period without that ability, or suffer somehow in an area prior to having these powers?"
As soon as I said this the people began to disappear out of the room. The actor looked at me gravely as the distant lighting began to go out, then the more nearby lighting...until he and I and the table were only lit by a desk lamp. That lamp went out and he disappeared. I started to feel layers of reality peeling away. It started seeming less like I was in my body in a dark room and more like I was disembodied and staring at a black piece of paper. There were sparks and I could see something like holographic galaxies, but they would disappear. I felt myself ebbing into nonexistence and then "woke up".
But instead of waking up in my bed, I was in the body of a child kneeling in a church-like setting...although it was really just kind of a large drab looking room. There were rows of long red pillows that everyone was kneeling on, and there was some strange noise coming from cheap-looking speakers on the corners of a stage.
An attractive reddish-blond-haired girl who I thought I recognized (but cannot now place) was being talked to by whoever was administering this sermon. I was feeling really bored by the environment, and I didn't have a good feeling about whoever was running it. The attractive girl finished getting talked to and she came back and sat behind me, seemingly not kneeling on a pillow but just sitting in the back. I turned and gave her a hug and she buried her face in my shoulder.
girl: (sadly) "I hate you."
me: "Oh. Why's that?"
girl: "Because now your parents have me on their watched list."
I wasn't sure whether she was indicating that my gesture of hugging her had caused an issue, or if the issue had pre-existed and it was just an opportunity to tell me about it. There was some announcement condemning people, something about ruining their relationship with God. Angrily, I got up and walked to the front of the room, kicking one of the cheap speakers over as I did.
me: "If you want people to have a stronger relationship with God, you can start by using a different format for talking about it. This room sucks. Kneeling sucks. YOU suck for ever thinking this is what God would want."
My speech started an angry response and some security people in uniform entered the room, but I kept talking. As I did, there was one man who didn't look like anyone else in the room standing next to me smiling at me in what seemed like a sincerely positive way. I couldn't tell if the others in the room could see him.
me: "Want a better relationship with God? Here's a tip...start with better relationships with the people around you. Enjoy your friends, be intimate with each other, and let people be with who they like instead of controlling them."
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