Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreamsDoctor, listen to me, tell me what this means
First I'm goin' shoppin' in my underwearThen all of sudden I'm floating in mid airMy lips fall off and everybody starts to stareDonuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere
Now Doctor, wait a minute, you ain't heard nothin' yetNext comes the part that I won't ever forget
Now I'm bein' followed by these Russian spiesThey give me some velcro, and an order of friesSuddenly I'm bowling on the Starship EnterpriseI fall down a hole and that's when I realize
I am stuck in a closet with Vanna WhiteI'm stuck in a closet with Vanna WhiteNight after night after night after nightAll right!
Doctor, won't you tell me, am I going insaneWas it something I ate or something wrong with my brain
See, I'm naked in church when I meet a dinosaurTry to run, but my feet have been nailed to the floorThen a midget pushes me through a revolving doorAnd I'm back in the very same place I was before
Now I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna WhiteI'm stuck in a closet with Vanna WhiteNight after night after night after night
And I can't bust out and I can't break freeAnd it's gettin' just a little too stuffy here for meAnd I can't go home and I can't get looseAnd I try to escape but it's just no useAnd I can't ever leave and I can't ever winAnd we're runnin' outta air and the walls are closin' inAnd I can't go back and I can't get throughBut Vanna since you're here, why don't you let me buy a vowel from youCome on Vanna, come on!
Doctor, all those crazy dreams have started againThat's right, I even wake up screaming now and then
See, I'm coming home from work but I forgot my addressI'm half an hour late for my algebra testThen some slimy alien jumps out of my chestAnd I'm falling and falling and I guess you know the rest