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Carketing, Not Science!

Date: 7-Dec-2009/9:58+3:00

Tags: , , , , ,

Characters: me, barista, girl, her, first girl, tall girl

I was noticing my car was parked at a metered space at a bad angle so it was poking out into the street. As I went to move it, an old lady in a tiny green VW bug signaled at me. I waved her by to indicate I wasn't leaving, but she somehow pulled in and took the space I was adjusting from.
This annoyed me, but there was another couple of spaces behind that one. So I started backing up and signaling that I intended to pull into them, but another car zipped in. Annoyed and continuing to drive backwards, I realized the space behind that was a loading zone.
Continuing to back all the way down the street, I found a Starbucks with a space available in its lot. I parked the car there and went inside.
me: "I'd like a large coffee... and a large mocha."
barista: "How full do you want the large mocha to be?"
me: (confused) "Wouldn't it be as much drink as there is cup?"
barista: "Full it is."
I didn't have anything to do or read, but I decided I'd just sit down at a two-seat counter by the window. A girl who I felt had been watching me as I got my coffee came and took the second seat. She had a paper that she pretended to look at for a couple of seconds, but abruptly started speaking.
girl: "I have to ask something that's on my mind when I see you there. It's to satisfy my curiosity, I guess. And that's whether you are the sort of person who has a happy and successful life."
me: "Heh... oh, it could be worse. Though I sure didn't succeed at parking just a minute ago! In the span of ten seconds lost two parking spaces to aggressive people. I even had a space, I was just adjusting my car so it was better aligned with the curb. So that's the only reason I'm in here right now. Don't know why I ordered all this coffee, it'll probably drive me crazy."
girl: "Is that the kind of thing that happens to you often? With the parking?"
me: "Well I'm very obsessive about making sure I'm parked correctly... to not get a ticket and also to make sure I'm leaving optimal room for other cars. I probably worry about it more than most people."
girl: "But about my first question..."
me: "Right. I guess I'd have to know what you mean by the words 'happy' and 'successful'. Who's a famous person you imagine is happy and meets your definition for success?"
girl: "Oh, that's easy! Reid Philipps!"
Note This name is an approximation, but it was a British-sounding name and I do think she said "Reid" or "Reed".
She pushed the paper she was reading around, and it was about the guy she mentioned. There were several charts and graphs on it. It seemed like he was a motivational and spiritual guru, like Deepak Chopra.
me: "I'm not familiar with him."
her: "He explains everything in terms of numbers and statistics...he's wonderful."
She talked about her life for a bit, and seemed to be sharing a story demonstrating her personality quirks in the same vein as my parking. I had a hard time following the specifics, as there were suddenly a lot of distractions. My feet were somehow on the counter and in a bowl of chopped tomatoes.
me: (confused) "Bathing in tomato juice is a remedy for when you're sprayed by a skunk. But I don't remember stepping on any skunks today! I think I need to go wash my feet off, excuse me for a moment."
girl: "Okay, I'll wait."
I got up and went to the bathroom. When I had a moment alone to reflect, I remarked to a guy who was there.
me: "Some would say I should have known this is a dream from the tomatoes. But believe it or not, that's happened to me before. The bigger cue is a girl initiating an interesting conversation with me in a public place. Definitely something that only happens when I'm dreaming."
Note Don't ask why I've had my feet in tomatoes before. It's a long story. But it has nothing to do with skunks. :P
It felt like the guy I had just spoken to grabbed me from behind to wake me up. After I awoke, I felt around my back where the attacks had seemed to hit... and it seemed like they were pressure points where the bed was connecting to my body.
I got up to go to the real bathroom, but found myself emerging in the Starbucks. The store seemed closed and completely empty, except for the girl who was standing by the door.
girl: "Surprise!"
me: "Whoa... that is a surprise to come back to the same setting. Why are you the only one left?"
girl: "Let me show you something that you'll like..."
She walked me out the front door of the Starbucks into something of a canyon, with high walls of yellowish-red rock. A second girl who was a giant and stood about three times my height came walking toward me. She held out her hand, and I shook it.
Note Though the first girl was not notably attractive, the giant one was very pretty.
first girl: "What do you think?"
me: "Well, you're right, I like it. That's a joke, I mean her."
tall girl: "That doesn't hurt my feelings... 'it' is fine. In fact, I think of myself as Kira-tech."
me: "Kira-tech? What does that mean? What do you do?"
She bent down so we were face to face.
tall girl: "I look around for guys like you to kiss... guys who appreciate a dominant woman."
She kissed me and pushed me down, and began to undress me. But I wriggled free and she stopped.
me: (jumping up and down) "DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM!"
"Kiratech" wavered and disappeared but the first girl remained. The canyon walls started to decay into blue panels.
me: "Just trying to see what the layers of 'reality' are here. Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure that would be fun to go along with, but I want you to explain the science first... so I can take it back with me. We can play later."
girl: "You can't treat it like a science, because it isn't one! It's much more like carketing."
me: "Carketing?! What's carketing?"
I stopped being able to hear or see her for a moment after she walked toward a wall. Things started to decompose, from a 3D environment into pencil sketches.
me: "Carketing... carketing... oh, wait. I see. 'cartooning'."
Though I could no longer see the girl, her voice returned somewhat in song:
dreaming is a trick of mind, it's very much like a cartoon
stitching a giant from clouds we have seen, or animals out of balloons
even from a canvas of darkness I can build a world for my eyes
I just call on my visions to draw for myself... a totally unique sky
Note That's an attempt to get the gist of the wording, it's not precise. The song was grandiose in kind of a diva-ish way, like Celine Dion with an orchestral backing.
This went on for a short bit as I saw stock pages flip by from what seemed to be a cartoonist's sketchbook. The example was given of how many different visual connotations we have about shrimp... shrimp cocktail, shrimp sushi, shrimpy people. There was some allusion that I was a special sort of person who was able to share and communicate through lucid dreams, and that this communication was with "magic mushrooms".
Note Though I've said it before, I'd like to re-emphasize that the dreams I report in my journal are not the result of a lifestyle of drug use. I drink a fair bit of beer and wine, but that's pretty much it.
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The accounts written here are as true as I can manage. While the words are my own, they are not independent creative works of fiction —in any intentional way. Thus I do not consider the material to be protected by anything, other than that you'd have to be crazy to want to try and use it for genuine purposes (much less disingenuous ones!) But who's to say?