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Naughty Shower Party: The Game

Date: 12-Jan-2009/9:31+3:00

Tags: , , , ,

Characters: doctor, frank drake, me, player

I was in some kind of hospital-like environment, and some doctor-type people were looking over me and a friend of mine.
doctor: "Hi there, we're from take_temp.c"
Note I don't remember if that was the actual name of what they said they were from...but it was some filename dealing with temperature and ended in ".c". I was confused because they were saying it like it was a business--e.g. take_temp.com -- but they definitely said "c" as if it were a computer source code file for the C language.
It was at this point I noticed that there was a spindly and primitive looking robot in the room. It was reminding me a little of Crichton from Battlestar Galactica:
The robot sort of nodded and rolled off down the hall. At this point, everything turned into kind of a time-lapse where I was watching various evolutions of robots moving around this office/hospital environment. Some of them looked like giant TV monitors that would roll along on wheels. I watched as robots began carving out fancy workstations from solid slabs of material, and they made a strange levitating table from white plastic with a giant BMW logo recessed into it:
I watched the robots dutifully build things for a bit, until at one point the scene was interrupted by someone who had set up a kind of secure broadcasting system. He was identified as Frank Drake, and he was narrating a speech.
Note The name Frank Drake is perhaps best known among geeks as being the name of the astronomer who calculated the odds of alien life existing in the universe based on some guesses mixed with evidence of how many planets there are.
frank drake: "The problem is just a reinvention of what we knew long ago as the Collow problem."
When he said "Collow", a strange crate-like object started sliding around the floor in my field of view which said "CO-LO" on it.
frank drake: "Or I should say, Coh-Low... the co-location problem. Too many things are being centralized for efficiency, yet this built a dangerous centralization of power and a central point of failure."
Note Co-location is a term used currently when someone providing internet services chooses to put their computers that provide that service in a place which is also a major network hub.
As Frank was talking, I looked out of the building at a crowd carrying a lot of odd plastic objects. Walking down to the first floor I saw a door that seemed to be covered in stickers and flyers, and there was a line of people outside. Inside there were sounds of a woman moaning or yelling as if she were either being tortured or having sex. I passed the line to go inside and look.
The line curved around to a terminal where someone was playing a game on a screen. Rendered people were on the screen and it seemed like the person playing was spraying the virtual people with a hose. Those people were tied to the ground with what looked like vines, and covered in mud. They writhed as the spray washed the mud off of them and revealed their naked bodies.
me: "What is this? 'Naughty Shower Party: The Game'?"
player: (pushing me out of the way) "Yeah, something like that."
After I'd looked at the screen a second, I could suddenly feel as if my body was being sprayed all over with cold water. Squealing a bit, I started running out the door.
me: "You people are insane!"
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The accounts written here are as true as I can manage. While the words are my own, they are not independent creative works of fiction —in any intentional way. Thus I do not consider the material to be protected by anything, other than that you'd have to be crazy to want to try and use it for genuine purposes (much less disingenuous ones!) But who's to say?