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And You Thought Ike Turner Was Bad...

Date: 25-Oct-2008/19:19+3:00

Tags: , , , ,

Characters: me, girl, her

Some people wearing green uniforms attacked me, and we were in a standoff. I asked what they had against me and they said I hadn't gone to a certain Linux convention. The discussion became tedious and the fight was averted, so I wandered off.
I approached a computer that was set up as some sort of public terminal. The screen was full of symbols, and in order to log on you had to demonstrate that you could count or correspond the symbols with other symbols. It was basically a CAPTCHA (like those distorted text things you have to read in order to "prove you're human). I rattled through it reasonably well, and then once I got in I played Minesweeper and tried to look inconspicuous.
It seemed like I was there to investigate something but hadn't found what I was looking for. For some reason I recognized a girl as being an ally.
me: "Why are we here?"
girl: (sighing) "Why are we ever anywhere?"
me: "Does it have something to do with that weird CAPTCHA? Why would they need that? What are they keeping out?"
girl: "Yes, that was strange...doesn't fit in with what we know of the story here."
me: "Story? What do you know?"
girl: "We're onto telephoning.com -- weird name, I know, but there's a shade of meaning in calling it that, makes sense. But they offer records of every telephone call ever made...back to the 1930s, fully searchable. The privacy rules don't apply."
me: "Ah, no privacy because of course all those people are dead...pffft. People need to learn there's no such thing as time, or we're not going to be able to handle the feedback effects."
Note I have no idea what I thought I was talking about. telephoning.com isn't anything that interesting, but telephoning.org is a doggone strange site.
This changed into a mode where we were on the attack with a small group, raiding some stronghold. I felt confident until we rounded a corner and saw guys with absolutely massive guns. When they fired the guns they made wide yellow energy beams. The people I was with were able to hold up our hands, absorb the energy, and then aim it elsewhere. I did this and was able to divert a energy beam someone was firing at me to his crotch, which caused him to yelp in pain.
me: "How about that?"
girl: "Oh, that's good. But this next one, you won't be able to take by yourself."
We fought a bit more and then I was feeling fatigued, so I let others fight the people with the energy weapons. I found a woman with what I understood to be unauthorized software that could do things like generate spam or hack. Furious I yelled at her as I confiscated it all into a large box, but she just smiled--which made me angry so I slapped her. That made her stop smiling.
I then picked up a box of some software that was capable of reading any human handwriting. Something about finding that there made me hysterically mad, as if I knew beyond a doubt it had been used for horrible purposes.
me: "What if I ripped your head off?!?!"
I grabbed her head as if I were going to, but instead I picked her up and started carrying her toward a fountain. Holding her under the water, she began to convulse, and suddenly horrified at what I was doing, I stopped. I pulled her out and began shaking her so she choked up the water. When she recovered I noticed she was quite beautiful.
her: "I've fallen for you."
Completely puzzled and aware at this point, I awoke during her explanation of when she realized she was in love with me. Uh. What?
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The accounts written here are as true as I can manage. While the words are my own, they are not independent creative works of fiction —in any intentional way. Thus I do not consider the material to be protected by anything, other than that you'd have to be crazy to want to try and use it for genuine purposes (much less disingenuous ones!) But who's to say?