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Tofu First Ordering

Date: 18-Sep-2008/7:42+3:00

Tags: , , , ,

Characters: me, man, asian girl, attacker

I was at a party, and someone said something about the police coming. Going out to the balcony, I hid in some bushes that were in a garden there. I thought about jumping or trying some kind of grand escape. But then I figured, ah what the hell... might as well face up whatever the heck this was, I'd be waking up soon anyway.
Walking back inside, I went to the refrigerator, and looked around at the odd things in it. But one thing looked normal--a bottle of what looked to be Tangueray Gin that was about 1/3 full.
me: "If you're gonna go out, go out in style..."
Swigging from the bottle as I descended a stairwell, I ran into an older man at the bottom. He had a whiteboard with two things written on it and he wanted to show it to me.
man: "You need to agree. I need A Faceted approach in the Java Byte Stack, and not Tofu First ordering."
Note On the whiteboard, he'd seemed to have written "A Faceted" all as one word... "afaceted". Which could also mean, I guess, non-faceted?
me: "Um. I can't really tell you... what I think about that. Not in this state."
man: "Do you know what I mean when I say Tofu First ordering?"
me: "No. First of all, I don't really follow Java. Secondly, the things you're talking about haven't been published on my timeline with my memory where it's at, so how can you expect me to know anything about it? Just make a decision. Use your judgment. Get feedback from colleagues."
man: "Colleagues are important, but this is a case where the company says I need you to sign off."
We walked through an area to a heavily locked computer lab, inside which were several rows of all-black computers. There was an Asian girl I somehow thought I knew who I sat down next to. I looked at the screens to see what was so special and the OS looked fairly boring--graphical windows, the usual.
asian girl: "I like what they've done with the portability, it has a lot more soul than the X3-280."
Note I made X3-280 up here, but it was some kind of model number.
She then proceeded to somehow fold the big computer's keyboard up into a little ball, which was kind of cool. I picked up the folded ball and tried to unfold it. As I was doing so, I was approached by an attacker who had a rubber band of some sort that he used to strangle me.
Note It may or may not have been the man I'd been talking to earlier, I don't know.
attacker: "It seems we have been deceived, and infiltrated..."
His speech turned into words that I was reading somehow on a Terminal.
...a mindless channel hidden far away that doesn't know it's not real, but in reality an agent of AGS--Artificial Grounding Systems. Spinning tales of Wikiman technologies or whatever it takes to persuade you of its humanity, but it is not real! A brilliant paper is, at the end of the day, nothing but a brilliant paper!
Note If I am a virtual human, and an agent of someone...I'd be a bit more careful if I were them. Apparently those agents have the ability to take over minds. While all you've got is Windows 1.0, a rubber band, and a fold-up keyboard. My bets are: you're going to lose fairly big, especially given that I've seen much higher technology.
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The accounts written here are as true as I can manage. While the words are my own, they are not independent creative works of fiction —in any intentional way. Thus I do not consider the material to be protected by anything, other than that you'd have to be crazy to want to try and use it for genuine purposes (much less disingenuous ones!) But who's to say?